


Troubled Starts

by dolefulwritings



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-14 22:52:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18486079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dolefulwritings/pseuds/dolefulwritings
Summary: "You're dead to me, Bellamy Blake. And I don't speak to ghosts." Clarke stated, her face completely void of emotion. He took a small step forward, a pleading look in his eyes. "I know I'm a ghost. I know because I died the day I left you, Clarke."------------------------------------------------------------------Bellamy Blake was an amalgamation of trust issues and a constant fear of being abandoned. Clarke Griffin was an intelligent girl with a knack for art and big dreams. After finding out the two of them are soulmates their final year of high school, Bellamy disappears without a trace. Now, with him making an attempt to rework his life and realizing he needs her, he comes back to their home town. Clarke has moved on with life, pouring herself into college and planning for her future. Will they be able to reconnect or did Bellamy ruin his single shot at unconditional love?





	Troubled Starts

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all know I NEEDED this! But also don't mind this garbage bc I'm writing for my own satisfaction. Book playlist is available at the end of the chapter.

**1**

 

 

Bellamy gripped his luggage tightly, panic setting in as he hurried through the airport. The last time he was in Arkadia he had abandoned everyone he loved. Now, three years later, he had finally returned. That initial bit of nerves had completely left after he finally spotted Octavia, standing around with a sign that had 'Big Brother' drawn out in bright red ink. He had broken into a sprint and enveloped her in a deep embrace, unable to comprehend his overwhelming emotions. Tears were beginning to form in his sister's eyes as they finally pulled back, taking in just how different they both looked. Octavia looked so much more grown up, and Bellamy couldn't tell if he was happy about it or not. "O, I missed you so much. I'm so sorry for leaving." He finally managed to choke out, and that's when her tears finally began to spill over. "Forget it, Bell. Just don't do it again." She answered, pulling him into another quick hug. The two of them gathered his remaining bags, loading them into the trunk of her car. The entire ride back to Octavia's new place was filled with the two of them sharing stories from the past few years. Though they had remained in contact, Bellamy hadn't spoken to anyone else. He had simply just disappeared. Octavia was happy to fill him in on everything that had happened with their friends, and couldn't help but continue to bring up the house that she and Lincoln were now living in. Apparently Monty and Harper were engaged, something that didn't actually surprise Bellamy. He was so thankful that Octavia had even forgiven him, and especially grateful that he'd be staying in her spare room. There was a certain tension lingering in the air, and Bellamy knew exactly why.  _Clarke._ He knew he had to ask about her, even though he wasn't sure he genuinely wanted to know. "So, what about Clarke?" Bellamy questioned, breaking the few moments of uncomfortable silence. Octavia shot him an uneasy glance and Bellamy felt a sense of panic begin to stir. "She's doing good," Octavia answered as she focused on the road. "Oh, did I mention that Monty and Harper are engaged?" She quickly added, desperate to change the subject. "Yes, multiple times." Bellamy answered, giving her an odd look. "What's wrong, Octavia? Just tell me." He urged, somewhat nervous. How bad could her response be? It was just Clarke. Bellamy couldn't just ignore her, they were soulmates. Though, his actions didn't really reflect that. Octavia let out a soft sigh, giving an apologetic glance to Bellamy. "She graduated as Valedictorian, not that anyone was surprised. She goes to this university pretty close, and still lives in Arkadia. She, uh, doesn't really talk to any of us anymore. She cut almost all of us off after you left. We only know what's going on with her because of Raven, they're still super close. I'm really sorry, Bellamy. I think it'd be best if you just leave her alone. She's with Finn now, and apparently it's going really well." She finally answered, Bellamy could feel his smile falter.  _Oh, she's with Finn Collins now._ He couldn't deny that it bothered him. "Do they all know I'm back?" He questioned, glancing out the window to watch the passing scenery. "Everyone but Clarke. It's probably best to keep it that way, though." Octavia answered, as if almost ordering Bellamy to not tell her. So, first he leaves without a word and now he returns the same way. Finally, they pulled up to a quaint grey house. Bellamy had basically jumped out of the car once they parked, pulling Lincoln into a hug as soon as he had seen him. Bellamy and Lincoln gathered his things while Octavia hurried inside, Bellamy watched Lincoln nervously. "So, uh, I'm sure Octavia has told you but I'm still really sorry for abandoning everyone." He finally said, shifting awkwardly on his feet. Lincoln just chuckled, walking ahead of Bellamy. "You have nothing to apologize for, I know why you did it." Lincoln answered, before walking in the front door. Bellamy followed and was immediately met with screams. A chorus of "surprise!" rang through the front room, causing him to drop the bags. A large banner was hung in the main hall, 'Welcome Back Bellamy' painted on it in multiple colors. Multiple people began to greet him at once and music began to play in the background. People swarmed around him, pulling him into quick hugs. Monty, Harper, Jasper, Murphy, Emori, and multiple others were all around him. He couldn't believe his eyes. It was as if he hadn't just ditched all of them, everyone was treating him as if he'd gone off to war and just come back. He knew he didn't deserve their kindness, but was willing to accept it for now. After while he had finally found Raven among the mess of people, and hurried over to her. "Welcome back, Bellamy!" She greeted warmly, offering him a kind smile. "Raven I-" He started, only to be interrupted by a familiar voice. "Hey! You're actually back!" A familiar voice called, causing Bellamy to quickly whip around.  _Finn._ Annoyance burnt through him, but Bellamy quickly pushed a smile to the surface. "Finn!" He greeted, walking over to him. Bellamy extended a hand to offer a simple handshake but Finn pulled him into a hug. Bellamy pulled away after a moment, still keeping the smile plastered on his face. "So, what's new with you?" Bellamy questioned, as if he didn't already know. "Oh, not much. Just finishing up some school stuff." Finn answered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Octavia was quick bounce over, eyeing Bellamy carefully. "Finn, I think someone called you from the kitchen. Monty, maybe, but I don't remember." She interjected, and Finn was quick to hurry away. "Who invited him?" Bellamy questioned, watching him walk away. "No one. He probably overheard something and invited himself." Octavia sighed, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Listen, I know things are going to be weird for awhile. Just give it some time, things will get back to how they were before you left." She consoled, flashing a reassuring smile before being called away to tend to something. 

 

Sometime later the party finally began to settle down and Bellamy managed to catch Raven on her own in the kitchen. He approached nervously, clearing his throat to get her attention. "Oh! Bellamy, I didn't hear you walk in..." She trailed off, fidgeting a bit. "Listen, I don't want to make things weird. I just need to know how Clarke really is, and I know you'll give me the truth." He stated, earning a disapproving look from Raven. "Bellamy, don't start. Listen, I'm sure you had your reasons for leaving. But I'm not going to talk to you about Clarke, not after what happened. She's my best friend. The only thing I can tell you is to leave her alone." She countered, shaking her head. She huffed out an annoyed sigh before leaving the kitchen and the party altogether. The rest of the celebration was a blur for Bellamy, he just wanted it to end. After everyone had finally left and the mess was cleared, he was shown his new room. Too tired to unpack he crawled into his bed, pulling out his phone. His thumb hovered over a single contact in his phone,  _Princess._ He locked the device and tossed it to the side, rubbing his hands over his face. Three years was a long time, surely Clarke couldn't still be completely mad at him? Eventually Bellamy found himself flipping through an old photo album Octavia had lying around. The first few pages were filled with their childhood photos, and quite a few of their mom. A sad smile formed on his lips as he kept going through, eyeing each picture as if he'd never seen it before. Eventually he managed to get to some from high school, including a few images of Clarke and him. He sighed, pushing on. Though, he completely stopped in his next tracks on the next page. It was all photos from Monty and Harper's engagement party. Bellamy eyed them all carefully, realizing just how much he actually had missed. A picture of Clarke cuddled up to Finn caught his eye and he couldn't help but feel a little disgruntled. He knew damn well that this was all of his fault. His inability to genuinely trust anyone but Octavia, his fear of commitment, the desperation to not end up like his parents. It all brought him here, alone and living with his sister and her boyfriend. Soulmates were a severely complicated topic, one he was always unable to comprehend. Some people were born with matching birth marks, in the same spot. It wasn't a completely rare occurrence, but just uncommon enough to be significant. Bellamy had always resented the idea and promised that he wouldn't let the belief run his life. But these past few years had put things into perspective for him. It wasn't a forced commitment to someone as he had once believed, it was loving them in a way that you couldn't possibly love anyone else. He could find the most amazing girl and fall completely in love with her, and it still wouldn't compare to the way he felt about Clarke. That's part of why he came back. In high school, he had dated this girl named Gina. He thought that she was the only person he'd ever want. Clarke and that damned mark on his collarbone killed that belief. After he left, it was this girl named Echo. She kept him grounded while he was there, but Bellamy knew he could never love her the way she wanted him to. So, he broke up with her and came back home three months later. Echo still reached out sometimes, which honestly made Bellamy uncomfortable. The girl was definitely still in love with him, and probably would've come with him if he had asked. He didn't want that, though. He wanted Clarke. Three years on his own gave him a lot of time to reflect and try to forget about her but she was always pricking at the back of his mind. He hated to admit that he missed her. Being around her, hearing her voice, and even just catching a glimpse of her as they passed each other. Bellamy closed the album, putting it back before finally returning to his bed. Everyone was telling him to stay away from Clarke, that she was happy. Part of him knew that he should listen, coming back into her life would just ruin her relationship. The other part of him wanted to ruin her relationship. Of all people to move on with, she picked  _Finn?_ Bellamy wondered if it was to spite him, considering everyone but Finn knew just how much Bellamy disliked him. Desperate for a break, he pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind. Bellamy tucked himself in, eventually falling asleep, exhausted from the excitement of his first day back in Arkadia.

 

The next morning Bellamy woke up somewhat early. He had stumbled out of his room, sweatpants clinging low on his hips. He made his way to the kitchen, watching Lincoln and Octavia go about their morning routine. Bellamy took a seat at the table, eyeing them both in amusement. It wasn't too long before Lincoln had hurried off to work, leaving just the siblings. "As much as I'd love to hang out all day, I'm going to meet some friends. Harper wants to start dress shopping." Octavia called out, weaving around the house. "Do you think she'd mind if I tagged along? My car won't be here until tomorrow, so I can't actually do anything." He answered, getting up to follow Octavia. She was in her and Lincoln's room, sitting at a large vanity. She was carefully applying makeup, glancing at her brother in the mirror. "I don't know, Bell. It's not like you'll be able to help shop for a wedding dress." Octavia answered, completely turning her focus to her makeup. "I'm sure I can at least give a little decent input?" He countered, leaning on the door frame. "Fine. Just go get dressed, it has to be something nice. This is important." She sighed, finally caving in to her brother. Bellamy hurriedly left the room, shuffling quickly through his luggage. He pulled out the ensemble before taking a shower. By the time Octavia had finished preparing herself Bellamy was waiting at the door, completely ready. The outfit was simple but still ridiculously attractive on him. He was clad in a simple white button up with a pair of nice black pants, but he completely pulled it off. The two of them piled into her car and left, Octavia explaining that it was going to be a bit of a drive. Apparently the boutique was a few towns over and it was the only place Harper would consider a dress from. Bellamy didn't mind, it gave him time to relax and watch the world pass by. Sometime between them leaving and making it through the town Bellamy had fallen asleep in the passenger seat, only being jolted awake when they had finally reached their destination. Bellamy stepped out of the vehicle, carefully eyeing the building before him. It was finally clear what exactly he had gotten himself into and why Octavia was apprehensive to letting him come. They entered the building, Bellamy nearly getting blinded by the mass amount of white. Octavia approached the front desk, Bellamy trailing behind her. "We're part of the Green Wedding Party," she explained and the man gave a curt nod. He motioned for them to follow and they were quickly brought to a burgundy curtain across the store. The man pulled it back to reveal a large room with a small platform and multiple couches. The pair entered, Bellamy scanning his surroundings. He was definitely out of his element. Harper waved them over but Octavia paused, stopping Bellamy. "Uh, minor problem," she choked out as she flicked her eyes towards a figure off to the side. Bellamy looked over, eyeing Raven and then the girl next to her. He felt his mouth go dry as realization struck him,  _Clarke._ Octavia roughly grabbed his arm and pulled him along with her, forcing him to sit with her near Harper. "I didn't know you were going to tag along, Bellamy. You look great!" She chirped, obviously excited to have another person there to help celebrate the occasion. Bellamy flashed her a warm smile, but his eyes didn't leave Clarke. She looked over at the mention of his name, shock flooding her eyes when they made eye contact. There was a pit deep in his stomach as they stared at each other, both in obvious disbelief. He couldn't deny that she looked amazing, hair cut shorter than he remembered her ever wearing it and dressed up in a beautiful navy dress. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her. At least, until Octavia forced him to focus on reality. After more people had arrived everyone took a seat, Clarke distancing herself from Bellamy as much as possible. Harper explained exactly what she was looking for, and also explained that everyone invited was supposed to help her find a dress to try. With that, the group was sent out into the boutique to rifle through the copious racks of clothes. Within minutes of being out there Bellamy made an attempt to approach Clarke, who was sifting through dresses on her own. He was quickly blocked by Raven, and he realized that talking to Clarke wasn't going to be as simple as he thought. Eventually he managed to catch a moment where Raven was distracted and took his chance, practically bounding over to the blonde. "Clarke?" He called quietly, causing her to jump. She faced him for only a second before simply turning and walking away. Bellamy was taken aback, shocked that she looked at him as if he was nothing. There was a hint of annoyance in his gaze as he eyed her once more, making another awkward approach. "Hey, Clarke?" He tried once more, only to be ignored again. She stood where she was, flipping through dresses as if he didn't exist. He took a daring step forward and gently placed a hand on her shoulder, letting out a deep breath.  _"Princess,"_ He finally whispered, leaning closer to her. She roughly knocked his hand away, turning to face him. A storm appeared to be brewing in her eyes as a look of pure disgust crossed her face. She shoved him away from her gently, shaking her head in disbelief. "You're dead to me, Bellamy Blake. And I don't speak to ghosts." Clarke stated, her face completely void of any emotion. He took a small step forward, a pleading look in his eyes. "I know I'm a ghost. I know because I died the day I left you, Clarke." And suddenly she stopped, an odd look on her face before she finally turned and walked off. She hurried over to where Raven was, pointing over to him. He wondered if she knew how sorry he was.  _'Fuck, I forgot to even apologize.'_   Sometimes Bellamy wished he'd take a second to actually think before doing things like that, but he couldn't stop himself from wanting to speak to Clarke. He pulled his phone from his pocket, opening up her contact and typing out a message.  _'_ _Clarke, I'm so sorry. For everything. For leaving. I know you hate me, and I understand why, but please just come back and talk to me.'_ Bellamy watched as she took a minute to read the text, before tapping away and eventually putting it up. Bellamy checked his messages, only to realize that there was nothing.  _'Clarke?'_ He tried once more, but the message wouldn't go through. He looked up at her in confusion, only to be met with a shitty smirk and that's when he realized she had blocked his number. Apparently sorry wasn't going to cut it.

**Author's Note:**

> Book Playlist:  
> \- Hold On: Chord Overstreet  
> \- Where's My Love (Acoustic): SYML  
> \- All These Years: Camilla Cabello  
> \- Cry Baby: The Neighbourhood  
> \- Want You Back: 5 Seconds of Summer  
> \- Miss You: Louis Tomlinson  
> \- Learning How To Love: Colony House  
> \- Foreigner's God: Hozier  
> \- From Eden: Hozier  
> \- Six Feet Under: Billie Eilish  
> \- 11 Blocks: Wrabel  
> \- ocean eyes: Billie Eilish  
> \- Moonlight: Ariana Grande  
> \- Thinking Bout You: Ariana Grande


End file.
